Broken and Beautiful

I am finding the joy in what I do again.   There was a minute when I forgot why I love it.  Between the long drives, the stress and busyness of wedding day, the pressure to get it “just right”, the well-meaning family members who can be a tad “pushy”,  the aching back and throbbing feet at the end of a 12 hour day.  The this,  the that…I forgot.  It was apparent that humans are flawed as I tried to hammer out details and explain to someone who has never had a wedding, what the timeline should look like.  It was apparent that flawed could get in my way as the professional that has shot close to 80 weddings over the last 9 years.  What I forgot was that flawed is beautiful.  And I get to capture the messiness of human-ness.  The broken and the beautiful.  After a hiatas from my job to have a baby, travel to meet our adopted son, move states (AGAIN), and start our life in a new city (AGAIN), I had my first client in this new city.  She reminded me that broken can live in the same space as beautiful... and to her I am eternally indebted.  Because this…this has given me new perspective on why it is I do what I do.  I don’t do it to capture the perfect picture, in the perfect lighting (although the chase is always on).  I don’t do it for the money, I don’t do it for praise.  I do it because it brings me JOY…life giving joy.  The kind of joy that shows up on a beach in the form of a mother and daughter, broken and hurting from a recent divorce, but ready to play in the water and climb the rocks in search of their next big adventure.  She texted me on the way to the shoot telling me she might have a hard time keeping it together.  She was calling these “fun photos” instead of family photos since they wouldn’t have her daughter’s dad there.  She said, “tonight is both broken and beautiful for me. The shattered pieces oozing with the sufficient grace, so if I’m teary…”  I thanked her for being so vulnerable with me, and for choosing me to capture this moment…WHAT a gift.  So…we had some fun, and in the process I felt inspired again.  Bring on the broken. Bring on the beautiful.  Time to get back to “work”.